Though I am loath to recommend watching anything on American Movie Classics since they added commercials and stopped broadcasting movies in widescreen, they are showing an great quadruple bill chock full of starlets beginning Wed. morning July 27 at 6:00AM EST. First travel with Ann-Margret, Carol Lynley and Pamela Tiffin as they set Madrid on fire as single gals far from home in The Pleasure Seekers (1964). Then spiral down into the Valley of the Dolls (1967) with those gorgeous pill-poppers Barbara Parkins and Sharon Tate, and the not so gorgeous Patty Duke who thankfully never sang again on the big screen.

At 10AM, Diane Varsi is good girl Alison MacKenzie, Lana Turner is her secretive mom Connie, and Hope Lange is rape victim Selena Cross in the dreary Peyton Place (1957). Better is the trashy 1961 sequel Return to Peyton Place at 1PM. Carol Lynley in her Sandra Dee period takes over as Alison, Eleanor Parker is Connie, and Tuesday Weld is the new Selena. The town throws a hissy fit when Alison writes an expose about her beloved Peyton Place and includes “the whole dirty story of Selena Cross.” Lynley and Weld strive to outdo each other and both come off wooden. Mary Astor steals the movie as a bigoted mother who calls Alison’s novel “a piece of trash” before dumping it in the waste basket. You may want to do the same with your TV after watching all four of these camp classics.

Well it was Emmy nomination time again yesterday and once again the Academy succeeds in disappointing us. The snubbing of Nicolette Sheridan and Harriet Harris of Desperate Housewives is the Academy’s biggest blunder since they failed to nominate Carol Lynley for Outstanding Guest Actress for her riveting performance as a high fashion model shot and parallyzed by Crocker in “Kiss It All Goodbye” on Kojak way back in 1977!

My Lost boys too were overlooked by Emmy. Only the well-deserving Naveen Andrews and Terry O’Quinn got nominated but Matthew Fox, Josh Hollaway (for smouldering sexiness like no else can and for his near exposed butt shot in the lake) and Dominic Monaghan too should of been named along side them. As for the Lost ladies Yunjin Kim broke hearts as the put-upon Korean wife who secretly learned English and should have been nominated in place of those tired old broads Tyne Daly from Judging Amy and Stockard Channing of The West Wing.

Finally what’s up with all those nominations for Will and Grace! This show is soooo over and was literally unwatchable this year save for the Bobby Cannavale episodes. Wolf, wolf!

My morning rant!

Being a huge fan of The Poseidon Adventure I was thrilled to hear that Hollywood was going to do a remake. However, I quickly calmed down remembering how awful Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes was. Not only is there going to be a theatrical Poseidon Adventure based on the screenplay, there is going to be an NBC mini-series using the original novel as the basis. The trailer is available and is impressive.

Most of the film’s original characters don’t seem to be in either version though in some cases the names were changed.

What I am pissed about though is none of the surviving cast members of the original are schedule to be in either version! Come on guys. Give them at least cameo spots! It would be cool to see Carol Lynley, Stella Stevens, Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Pamela Sue Martin, and that annoying Eric Shea reunite to give the new SS Poseidon a send off or even better have them aboard again as passengers. Granted Borgnine and Buttons are 100 years old but Carol Lynley and Stella Stevens still look great though I’d keep them away from any hot pants and a man’s shirt over panties.

So I plead to the producers, please throw us diehard Poseidon Adventure fans a bone and give cameos to our stars!