SET THOSE DVRS, YOU LITTLE HORNPONE

On Friday Feb. 6 at 11:30PM EST, the very entertaining musical Lil’Abner makes its debut on Turner Classic Movies and it is one of my favorites. All of Al Capp’s comic Dogpatch characters come to life in a big colorful musical based on the Broadway hit with energetic dance numbers choreographed by Michael Kidd, a rousing song score, and a first-rate cast chock full of scantily clad starlets and muscle Gods. Who can ask for anything more?

As Sadie Hawkins Day nears, Daisy Mae (Leslie Parrish) hopes to catch naive studly Li’l Abner (Peter Palmer) in Dogpatch’s traditional race to finally win his hand at marriage. But burly Earthquake McGoon (Bern Hoffman) wants Daisy and dumb ole Li’l Abner justs wants to pass the days away fishin’. Senator Phogbound (Ted Thurston) then spoils the fun when he informs the Dogpatchers that their town is to be used as ground zero for atomic bomb testing. To save their homes, they need to come up with one reason Dogpatch is necessary to the country. They then put they faith in Mammy Yokum’s (Billie Hayes) Yokumberry tonic, which Abner has been taking all his life, and turns out of shape men into muscle Gods. Scheming Gen. Bullmoose (Howard St. John) wants his hands on the tonic to get rich and sends sultry Appassionata Von Climax (Stella Stevens) to seduce it from dumb ole Abner who treks to Washington to plead the town’s case. Does the big lunk give in to her wiles or does he save Dogpatch from going ka-boom?

Also in the cast are Stubby Kaye as Marryin’ Sam (who leads the cast in the show stopper “Jubilation T. Cornpone”), Julie Newmar as Stupefyin’ Jones, Joe E. Marks as Pappy Yokum, Al Nesor as Evil Eye Fleagle, and Carmen Alvarez as Moonbeam McSwine.

Trivia:
Actress Marjorie Helen won the role of Daisy Mae over 100s of other hopefuls. She had toiled playing bit parts in A productions and leads in Grade Z movies. Knowing this would be her big break, her agents suggested she change her name and ta-da Leslie Parrish was born.

Tina Louise originated the role of Appassionata Von Climax on Broadway and Paramount Pictures begged and cajoled her to reprise the part in the movie. Ms. Louise had just won a Golden Globe as Most Promising Female Newcomer for her film debut in God’s Little Acre and wanted to be considered a dramatic actress so she refused to give in. Newcomer Stella Stevens stepped in and then she too won a Golden Globe in the same category.

If you look closely, you’ll catch Jerry Lewis in an unbilled bit with Julie Newmar and among the Speedo-clad musclemen are bodybuilders are Brad Harris and Gordon Mitchell both of whom want on to star in Hercules-type movies in Europe.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Warner Bros has released a boxed DVD set called The Romance Classics Collection featuring Parrish (1961, Susan Slade (1961), Palm Springs Weekend (1963), and Rome Adventure (1963). All your favorite Warner Bros. Sixties contract players are on hand including Troy Donahue, Connie Stevens, Suzanne Pleshette, Ty Hardin, Diane McBain, and Robert Conrad.

Of course I just love these cheesy flicks. They were a staple of ABC’s 4:30 Movie that aired in New York during the Seventies. Though they were broadcast in truncated versions with commercials galore, for 90 minutes I was engrossed as dreamy Troy Donahue who starred in all four films romanced some of the prettiest girls in Hollywood. My favorites are Rome Adventure as tourist Suzanne Pleshette vies for the affections of the blonde pretty boy with worldly Angie Dickinson in the Eternal City while a lush musical score accompanies their travelogue romance and Parrish where slutty Connie Stevens, rich bitch Diane McBain, and good girl Sharon Hugueny all go gaga over Claudette Colbert’s tobacco farmer son Troy. Guess who wins his heart at the end?

Recalling Parrish in my book Fantasy Femmes of Sixties Cinema, Diane McBain says:

“I like Parrish. It was fun to do. I played my first movie bad girl in this film and it typed me almost forever. Troy Donahue was a star at that time and that’s what they wanted. Troy and I got along very well. He’s a good guy. Perhaps Connie Stevens and I should have been rivals but we were friendly. We had known each other from when I was working at the Glenville Center Theatre when I was doing a play. She was dating one of the actors I was working with. She was pretty feisty and let the studio know when she was unhappy about things. I was one of those folks who liked to go along. I didn’t like to fight. I just wanted to work.”

“This was Claudette Colbert’s swan song in the film business. I’m sure she wanted to make a good impression. I was a novice actress. Even though I had done some things in television, I still was quite green. I didn’t sleep a wink the night before the first day of shooting. When it came time for me to say my lines I just froze. I couldn’t remember any of the lines I learned. In all honesty, I ruined the scene. It was pure terror for me. Colbert and the director got very upset with me. I think she looked upon me with some sort of disdain. I was very aware that she was not happy and she had every right to be unhappy. I swore that I would never let that happen again. And I haven’t. It was the only time.”

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED…

After lots of drama between Gail Gerber, the Terry Southern Trust and McFarland, below is the final approved cover for Gail’s upcoming memoir.